If You Only Knew
by brunettesdoitbetterduh
Summary: Yvette Swan ran from Jacob Black after learning he imprinted on her. She just had to get away, get her head on straight, process everything and try to figure out if she could just let herself fall in love with him. What she didn't realize was that she was already in love with him. She's back now, but is it too late? And what else will happen? *see authorsnotes/bio*
1. Introduction

**Authors Note:**

**I do not own Twilight or any of it's canon characters or the plots in the books/movies. I wish I owned Jacob, sadly, I don't. **

**I do own my original character, who yes, is a 'sister sue'. But trust me, she's far from a Mary Sue. I hope that admission won't stop you guys from at least reading the story and giving it a chance.**

**The story starts in Breaking Dawn, however, there might be flashbacks and memories filling in gaps for my characters 'twilight experience' as needed. Those will be in italics.**

**Rating:**

**T/M for eventual sex, graphic violence and swearing.**

**OOC Warnings:**

**!LessAnnoying Bella**

**!Less Selfish Bella**

**!Angry Jacob**

**!Sexy Jacob**

**others to come eventually***

**Changes Made To Series:**

**Jacob will not imprint Renesmee. Sorry, I just didn't think that made for a good story. And I happen to adore Jacob.**

**Bella and Jacob were only ever friends. Jacob imprinted on Yvette during New Moon/Eclipse, which I've mashed together in the 'flashbacks' and memories when needed during the story. **

**The Volturi will most likely go after Renesmee, but there will be a person from Yvette's distant past who returns to go after her. He is a vampire also. He's a rogue, a left over from Victoria's army of newborns. Jacob will protect Yvette.**

**Instead of the pack splitting into two rival packs, they remain one big pack. **

**The story will be werewolf / original character centric, it's mostly about their relationship with each other. Seeing as I'm personally not that fond of the vampires, yeah, it's gonna focus mostly on Jacob and my oc. **

_This is an introduction I came up with to sort of introduce my character, Yvette and set the tone for the beginning of the story. _

_Mistakes_

We're all imperfect, we all make mistakes. And when I was probably 16, I made the worst one of my life. I didn't think it was a mistake at the time, hell, I honestly remember being scared shitless by the fact that I loved someone **that much**. What I didn't realize then, was that this problem, this mistake was the result of a pre existing fear that I didn't even realize I actually had.

Love as an emotion terrifies me.I know that now, but I suppose I should explain why.. My mom and my dad didn't have some picture perfect love story. My mom came into Charlie's life after Renee and Bella had just left, and he was devestated. Unfortunately, that didn't stop my mom from fooling herself into thinking that she could live without him being able to love her back.

And for a while, she actually thought it might work. But then she realized that she was only hurting herself, and making Charlie feel bad because he just couldn't love her then.

I mean he did love her, he just didn't realize it then. It took her leaving town with the man she THOUGHT was my father, Peter, to make him eventually see it. Meanwhile, my mom discovered she was pregnant with me and that there was no way possible that Peter was my biological father.

And she knew or thought she knew at least that Charlie wasn't an option, what she really wanted wasn't an option, so again, she lied to herself and unfortunately, she lied to Peter also, letting him think he was my father. She let herself be content with Peter, with our so called family.

But that all changed when I was in about 8th grade, and my mom had a car accident, I got hurt and they thought I might need surgery to save me. Then the truth came out and Peter couldn't deal. He walked away from my mom and it devestated her. And for a few months after that, she was at a loss as to what to do.

Meanwhile, Charlie reached out, wanted to get to know me. So she sent me for the summer. We moved to Forks before my 9th grade year, so I could be close to my dad and he could be a part of my they sort of formed a friendship. And from that friendship came the realization that they did love one another, and that maybe things could work out this time.

I tell you all of this, because it's a big reason why I was so afraid to accept my feelings and express them accordingly. And it's also what caused me to turn my back on the guy in question because I didn't understand something he told me.I didn't want him to be forced to be with me, I wanted him to have the chance to make up his own mind, love who he wanted to love. What I didn't realize was that he actually **did** love me, all along.

What I'm about to say, you'll never hear me say again, ever. I should have listened to Bella when she tried to help me. Instead, I pushed her and the guy in question, Jacob as far away from me as I could because I couldn't deal with the truth, I couldn't deal with my feelings, I was scared to death of them.

And that's exactly how I made the worst mistake of my life. A fact that's only recently come to light with me, because my best friend and former boyfriend Trent pointed it out.

So I've got this wedding invitation to my older half sister's wedding.. And parts of me are anxious to get back, fix the huge mess I made.

The other parts of me are afraid it's beyond too damn late. Either way, here goes nothing I suppose. If I can't fix this mistake, if I can't undo what I've managed to do, then I don't know what I'm gonna do.. Because I see now, I was an idiot.


	2. It's 4:03 & I Can't Sleep

_It's 4:03 and I can't sleep  
Without you next to me I  
Toss and turn like the sea  
If I drown tonight, bring me  
Back to life  
Breathe your breath in me  
The only thing that I still believe  
In is you, if you only knew _

CHAPTER ONE:

It's 4:03 & I Can't Sleep

They were arguing again. Trent kept accusing her of hanging on to her past, he kept telling her that even if she said she loved him, she didn't really mean it, that her heart belonged to someone else.

She raked her hands through her dark brown hair and tried distancing herself from the fight they were having, from the truths he kept shouting at her. But it shocked her when he walked into the kitchenette of her small temporary apartment in Louisiana and put his arms around her, said quietly, "This came in the mail for you today, chere. I think you know what you gotta do. I'm done fighting. I cannot fight with a ghost, I can't compete with this Jacob guy. I'm not gonna keep tryin either."

He'd left after that, she hadn't stopped him, because she was still standing there, floored in shock as the realization crashed down on her that she really did love Jacob. And thanks to her walking away from that, she might have lost him forever.

She winced as she heard the last thing she'd begged Jacob to do, find someone that he could fall in love with on his own, without some genetic quirk deeming it necessary to love her first. She'd taken a risk, letting him go like that, but she had to know if he really meant that he loved her **before **he imprinted on her.

She poured herself a shot of Wild Turkey and grabbed a box cutter, sliding it carefully under the edges of the small white envelope. The invitation fluttered out and fell onto the counter as she continued to let her mind wander, drifting in and out, going back on every little mistake she'd managed to make to this point in her life.

To the outside world, she might seem like a daring person, because she'd been known to take a lot of risks, liked to live dangerously. Slamming back the shot of alcohol, she shook off the bittersweet burn as she wiped her lips and let the realization she was in the grips of wash over her in waves.

She was a chicken shit, plain and simple. She ran from love. She kept everyone at arms length for the simple fact that if she didn't have to try and let anyone in, she didn't have to be hurt when she fell and they didn't catch her.

She didn't want to hurt like her mother had in the past. She didn't want to make a mistake, delude herself into thinking she loved a guy only to find out she didn't and wind up hurting him worse.

So she ran like hell when Jacob confronted her and told her how he felt, told her about his being a shifter, told her about the fact that she was his soulmate. The thing of it was, he almost looked ashamed when he said it, as if he didn't want this to happen.

She realized now, looking back on the situation as she stood alone in her 3 room apartment in New Orleans, that he hadn't been ashamed. Like her, he'd been scared to death of being rejected. And he'd gotten rejected for his efforts because for whatever messed up reason, she'd simply panicked and left town after.

She'd told Charlie and her mom where she went, of course, explained that she wanted to volunteer, take a little personal time before starting college, and she wanted to do something good with the personal time, but she hadn't told Jacob where she went, she hadn't told any of her high school friends, nor had she told her own sister.

She didn't want them finding her. She didn't want the messy confrontation, because she realized now, that had they confronted her, made her own up to her real feelings, she'd never have been able to put it into words.

She'd never been really good at emotional scenes. She hated fights and she hated anger fueled arguments. And she'd been angry at both of them, her sister and Jacob, at the time, because they'd been trying to save her, in a sense.

Sighing, she looked at the invitation as she took a few more shots. The alcohol had her buzzing by the time she realized she was drunk, and she'd booked herself a flight back to Forks for the next afternoon.

"It's probably too late. What if he did what you asked him to do, and he moved on?" she muttered in the darkness of her bedroom as she tried to settle down and shut off her mind, shut off the memories, the realization she'd just had, the total mess she'd probably made of her life.

She rolled over and looked at the clock, grumbling when it's bright blue display read 2 am.

At this rate, she'd never get to sleep. And she just wanted to stop thinking for a while. She just wanted to let her mind rest.

Jacob sat around the fire with the rest of his pack, not speaking. Apparently, he was going to be the first to have an imprint reject. He'd promised himself he'd give her time to process everything, he'd give her space, especially considering how much their friendship had been through in the past.

But it'd been almost 6 months now, she hadn't even made an attempt to contact anyone that he knew of, and she didn't seem to be in a big hurry to come back. Her last words should have been an indication. He bit his lower lip, scowled bitterly as Leah sat down beside him and said quietly, "She left because she was scared, Jacob. Not everyone can handle the level of devotion."

"So I should just give up and do what, Leah?"

Leah sighed and said "I'm not saying give up, Jacob. I'm trying to keep you from doing that. I'd kill to imprint on someone, anyone, just to get over the pain I feel. I'm just telling you I don't think the imprint rejected. Sometimes it's not an instant connection. Maybe she needed the space."

"Or maybe she didn't ever actually care about me to begin with. I mean we did start out hating one another, remember? And then that whole thing with that bastard Sawyer." Jacob said quietly as he sipped a soda, stared at the cliffs for a few moments.

"Fine. Be an idiot and give up. I'm telling you, for whatever reason, there's more to this than you realize. You haven't even tried to look at it from her perspective." Leah said as Jacob shrugged and said "Don't need to. She actually made it really clear when she left without a damn word."

Leah grimaced as she watched Emily with Sam before pointing out, "Look at what Sam went through with Em, Jacob."

"Em wasn't gone for 6 fucking months, Leah." Jacob said calmly, his voice coming out deadly calm as he tried to keep from just punching something.

He'd imprinted on the girl of his dreams. Only to have said girl turn and run.

Their entire friendship, if he had to look at it, had been a rollercoaster. But he honestly did love her even before he'd imprinted on her. He'd tried fighting it, he hadn't wanted to hurt his child hood friend Bella, who happened to be her half sister, at the time, given that she'd just lost the love of her life, so he'd tried to step away out of respect for his friend, not wanting to rub anything in Bella's face.

"If she doesn't come back for Bella's wedding, Leah, I'm giving up. End of story." Jacob said firmly as Leah walked away exasperated. Jacob made his way home and flopped across his bed, prepared for yet another sleepless night.

Life was hell when your soulmate didn't feel the same way.


	3. I Swear I've Lived And Learned

CHAPTER TWO:

_I Swear I've Lived And Learned_

She stood in the airport, looked around. It was official, she'd done it. She'd gotten on the flight, now she was in Port Angeles. She'd come this far, the brunette knew there wasn't any real sense in backing out this time.

She pushed through the crowd, grabbing her luggage from the carousel when it came around, and then made her way to the rental car station. With keys in hand came the realization that she had to do this, she had to take that next step, she had to make that leap. Because he'd done it already, and she'd turned him away.

It was up to her now. If, of course, it wasn't too late.

The drive from Port Angeles was a long one, the destination she headed towards held a lot of memories for her, it held a lot of things she'd done wrong, things she hadn't done but she wished that she had, regrets.

Maybe that's why she'd been in such a hurry to leave town after graduation. She just had to get away, she had to get some distance between herself and the craziness she'd been through, the shocking realization that normal wasn't actually normal. That there was more gray in the world than black and white. Things couldn't always just be written off or laughed at, explained away.

The bright lights and crowded streets of Port Angeles gave way to quieter roads, the monotony of trees on either side for vast stretches being broken up by the occasional house or grouping of houses. Flipping through the radio to distract her racing mind, calm her shot nerves proved futile, apparently all she was going to hear tonight were songs about love lost.

Was it some kind of omen, she mused to herself as she turned off of one road and onto the road that lead directly into Forks, the main street that ran through town. "There's no turning back now, Yvette. You got yourself this far, you have to go the rest of the way or you'll never know what you could have had." she murmured to herself as she stopped at the filling station that sat across from Newton's Sporting Goods and refuelled the car.

She groaned inwardly when she turned an aisle after grabbing a bag of trail mix, a Monster energy drink and some sour cream and cheddar chips and ran into Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley.

"Oh my gosh, Yvette!" Jessica rambled, Yvette stiffening in posture, looking at her with a raised brow. She was seriously going to talk to her after she'd stabbed her in the back repeatedly?

She blinked and forced herself to join Jessica's one sided conversation, her observations on the reasons why Bella would possibly want to marry at such a young age and said calmly, "Not that it's any of your business, but did you ever think maybe she's not pregnant or hiding something? Maybe she actually for reasons unknown to any normal person loves the dickhead?" before giving a smirk, shoving past the two of them.

She wasn't in the mood for a trip down memory lane tonight, she'd done far more than enough of that to herself on the flight to Port Angeles. She got back into her car after pumping her gas and then turned out into the street again, sighed to herself as she muttered, "You have to do this. Fear cannot rule your entire life. It's pointless to just keep denying yourself what you really want because you're afraid that when you get it, you won't want it anymore, or something bad will happen."

She fumbled with the radio tuner again, and turned onto the street her parents lived on, the pounding of her heart almost competing with the drums in the Motley Crue song she was currently listening to, and pulling into the driveway behind Bella's Mercedes, she sat there a few moments, collecting herself.

The howl from the direction of the woods had her looking around, alarmed. Surely he couldn't sense her back yet.

She wanted the element of surprise on her side. If she were going to take a risk this huge, she was going to go all out.

Charlie raised a brow as he saw a car pull into the driveway, stop and just sit there. "Bells? Do you know anyone who drives a black car?" he asked as Bella thought it over and shrugged.

Inside the car, fear was battling with desire and Yvette felt torn between just leaving, and writing this off as too little too late, or actually doing this, daring to hope it wasn't too late.

The knock on the window had her shrieking, grabbing at her heart and she rolled down the window on the drivers side. Charlie grinned as he saw his youngest daughter sitting there. "Why didn't you call? Your mom and I would have driven to pick you up, Yvette."

"I needed to think, Charlie." Yvette said as she got out, hugged her father and said "I decided to come home early." smiling at him. He smiled and then asked, "Did you guys get anything accomplished there?"

"We rebuilt a little of the 9th ward, there's still a lot that needs to be done. I just missed you guys, I got homesick.. Guess I'm just not cut out for this travelling bullshit, sir." Yvette said quietly as she saw her older half sister walking out the door.

"Yvette?" Bella asked as she looked at her younger sister. They had a love and hate relationship yes, but in the end, they were family, they cared about one another. So it didn't take a rocket scientist to see that Yvette apparently had been through hell the past few months. Bella had the passing thought that maybe the time away was good for her, someone admitting they love you and that they'd loved you since before they imprinted on you, marked you as their soulmate was probably a lot to handle.

Especially given what she'd figured out fairly early on in getting to know her younger half sister, her inability to actually express and handle emotional things. She almost seemed scared of it.

"I was worried you wouldn't come back for my wedding.. I mean we did have the worst fight we've ever had the night before you left." Bella said quietly as Yvette admitted, "About that, Bells.. I never should have scoffed at your warnings. I should have listened a lot better about Sawyer. And about Jacob."

Bella nodded, studied her sister and said quietly, "Does that mean you're going to fix things or are you just back?"

"I'm going to try, Bells. I just hope it's not too.." she started only to have Bella say quietly, "So you're sure you can accept what he said.. You don't have to push the boundaries, really prove that it's not just the imprint that makes him love you?"

"I have to, Bells. I love him. It's not going away. Knowing I love him is going to have to be enough for me." Yvette admitted as Bella nodded and then said "You might wanna hurry. Your mom made apple pie again, there are exactly two slices left." as Yvette smirked and said "Race you inside,then I suppose?" before taking off to the dinner table at a run.

Her mom hugged her and then said quietly, "Can I talk to you a minute?"

She nodded, followed her mom into the den the white pocket door sliding shut behind them. For a moment neither of them really spoke, but then her mom said quietly, "You didn't just leave to go help that team rebuild, did you?"

"No. I swear to God if Bells told.."

"She didn't have to, Yvette. Your friend Jacob's been calling almost every single day wondering if I heard from you. What happened?"

"Nothing ma, it's stupid.." Yvette said as she squirmed uncomfortably. She had this feeling that one way or another, she wasn't getting out of the den or out of the conversation until her mother got out everything.

"Try me. You know as well as I do, Yvette, I've done worse." her mom admitted quietly as she studied her daughter, concerned.

"He told me he loved me and I freaked out, okay? I freaked out because I realized I loved him back, and I got scared that somehow everything was going to fuck up totally. I was afraid to just trust in the whole concept of love and trust."

Her mom nodded and said quietly, "That's what I thought." as she hugged her and then added, "So, did the time away help or..."

"Yeah.. I realized that I have to try. I have to let someone in sooner or later. I mean you did eventually, you're okay.."

"Pessimist." her mom joked a little as she added, "Not everything ends badly. I found your dad again, didn't I?"

Yvette nodded and said quietly, "Let's just hope I'm not too late to fix this."

"If he really loves you, Yvette.. It'll never be too late." her mother said before grumbling as she caught sight of a tattoo and the small stud in her daughter's nose. "Your father is going to kick your ass." she said calmly as Yvette groaned and said "It's just ink and a piercing, ma."

"That we specifically told you you were NOT getting. Ever." her mother countered as she pointed Yvette into the kitchen.

While everyone talked around her, Yvette mostly sat quietly, eating her pie, trying to plan out her next move. This had to be perfect, everything she wanted in life was at stake.


	4. I Refuse To Let You Go, 1

CHAPTER THREE:

_I refuse to let you go, 1  
_

The door to their shared bedroom opened and Bella knocked, peering in. "Can I come in?" Bella asked as Yvette nodded, looked at the stack of envelopes in her hand. "What's that?"

"It's your mail." Bella deadpanned dryly as she sat the stack of letters down on the vanity table in front of Yvette, who was getting ready for the rehearsal dinner that was going to be held in little over an hour now. The first thing she noticed when she looked at the stack of letters Bella sat down in front of her, is that they all bore the stamp 'return to sender'.

She bit her lower lip. Why the hell would she return letters that she'd been dying to get? If she'd gotten these, she might not have ever stayed in New Orleans. As soon as she realized who'd returned them, suddenly Trent's incessant arguing and fighting, his pushing her towards a relationship and marriage she didn't want to begin with, with him, made perfect sense. She groaned, her head rested on the palm of her hand as Bella asked quietly, "Why'd you send them all back?"

"I didn't, Bells. That guy I was trying to get rid of was. He must have done it thinking if I didn't know Jacob felt the same about me, I'd eventually give up. When I didn't, he.."

"He left, right?" Bella asked as Yvette nodded and said "I can't say I blame him. He had no problem saying he loved me. When I'd try to say it back out of politeness I couldn't even do it. Words stuck in my throat because I didn't, and I don't like lying."

Taking the letters, she walked over to her bed on her side of their shared room, flopped across, ripping the first one's taped barrier open.

_Yvette,_

_I know we both said some really, really stupid things. But I also know that what I said was true. I loved you before the imprint even happened. It's sort of why I avoided you to begin with or I constantly argued with you, teased you about things. You've gotta know I was right about Sawyer. Bella thinks that he's the biggest reason you ran. Finding out about everything you didn't believe in actually existing._

_I'll wait as long as I have to, Yvette, but I love you. I hope you get this and you come back. This is killing me because I don't know what to do or say, I don't know what I might have said wrong, done wrong. I feel like the whole thing is my fault or something._

_Always, _

_Jacob_

_P.S.. I heard that song on the radio yesterday. I thought about you trying to explain slow dancing to me, without stepping all over your feet. Everything I do, say, see, hear or smell, or even think triggers some sort of memory. If you don't love me or feel the same way, at least write back and tell me to fuck off or something. _

The letters that followed that one were written in much the same tone, Yvette bit her lower lip as she finished the last one, took a Kleenex from the box Bella held out to her. "God damn it, Trent. You fucking did this." she muttered quietly as Bella sat down and asked, "Well?"

"Fuck it.. The worst that can happen is he's given up and moved on.. Or he hates me now.. Right?" Yvette asked as Bella nodded and said quietly, " Not saying it'll be fixed overnight, Yvette, but I do think it can."

She laughed hollowly as she looked up at her sister, wiping her eyes. Never had she been angrier than she was right now at her supposed friend Trent. He'd made things so much harder for her by hiding the damn things and then sending them back to Jacob.

Maybe that's why he let her go like he did recently.

Her mind began to race and she stood, pulling on a leather jacket with the full tulle skirted dress, then slipping her feet into her combat boots.

"You are aware that it's pouring rain out right now.. Right?" Bella asked as Yvette nodded and grabbing her keys said calmly, "I can't just keep sitting here in fear. I have to fix this and apparently, I have to fix this now. The sooner the better. You just worry about your wedding, Bells."

"You will be back in time for rehearsal, right?"

"Yeah."

With that, Yvette took off down the stairs, Alice grumbling as she pointed out, "Your makeup.. It's going to smear."

"At this point, Alice, I don't much care." Yvette called out leaning back in the doorway as she raced to her car, took off towards La Push. Bella walked into the kitchen and her stepmother, Yvette's mother asked, "Where'd Yvette take off to in such a hurry?"

"La Push, if I had to guess. And I was right. Trent wasn't showing her those letters. He was returning them himself, never saying a word about them to her. Then he realized that she actually loved Jacob and he couldn't compete, so he left."

"Was she pissed?" Natalya asked her stepdaughter as Bella nodded and said "On a scale of 1 to 10, if she sees Trent again anytime soon, she'll probably beat the piss out of him."

Yvette spun into the Black's driveway, then the fact that she actually had no real plan hit her and she sat there for a few minutes. The knock on the window startled her and she rolled her window down, asked sheepishly, "Is Jacob here?"

"Why the hell do you care?" Paul asked, looking at the girl in the driver seat. Rachel elbowed him and he said quietly, "He's been gone for almost a week now. Took off after the bonfire we had on Monday."

"God damn it." Yvette said as she got out of the car. "Don't follow me." she said firmly as she took off at a run for the woods.

Rachel smiled a little to herself and Paul muttered, "Wasn't going to, loon." as he watched her running through the woods.

Yvette ran until her lungs burned and her throat was scratchy from calling out Jacob's name at the top of her lungs. She had a sneaking suspicion she knew why he hadn't been seen in a week, she just hoped to God he was still in the woods here, not gone to God only knew where.

"Damn it. Fucking hell. I was still too damn late." she muttered as she swiped at her eyes, raked her hand through her hair, flopped down on a fallen tree, rested her head in her hands.

The whisper of her name had her head snapping up. It'd been on an afternoon much like this one when she met Sawyer, the newborn vampire who'd started her pattern of choosing bad relationships when she was 16. She'd just gotten into a huge argument with Jacob over something stupid, and seeing as how Edward had been in the house, she'd just decided to get away. She'd met Sawyer here.

Basically, the spot she was sitting in was the spot where it all went to hell for her. If she'd never run out of the house that day, she'd never have met him, he'd never have gotten into her mind, used her feelings for Jacob against her, twisted them, manipulated her mind to the point that she honestly believed her older half sister, her parents AND Jacob hated her.

She heard her name again and she got a bad feeling. The bad feeling continued to grow as she saw him step into the clearing, walk around her, rubbing his chin as he said calmly, "I told you the last time I saw you, Yvette.. I didn't want to see you again. I don't want to be a good guy. I am a monster, I don't want to be saved.. But you had to come back, didn't you?"

"I'm not here for you Sawyer, don't flatter yourself."

"You must be. You're sitting in the woods, in our spot, on our tree." Sawyer sat down, his eyes taking on a glowing red cast as he sniffed at her. "Your blood smells the same."

Yvette backed up, eyes going wide. He caught hold of her and said calmly, "You came to our spot. Here I am. Are you finally ready to give yourself to me, Yvette?"

She smirked as she jammed her fist into his nose, taking off at a run. He caught her quickly. The sudden appearance of a large black wolf, Sam, Yvette noted, had her groaning inwardly. The wolf cast a look at her, and lunged at Sawyer who retreated before any serious damage was done.

Sam phased back to human moments later and said quietly, "Jacob's gone. Nobody's seen him in a week. I don't think he's in the woods here, Yvette. You should go."

"If you see him...Please just tell him to find me?" she begged as Sam studied her a moment. If she were here now, that meant that his personal theory was true, it'd taken longer for their imprint to actually make a solid and lasting connection. It mean she hadn't rejected Jacob after all.

Maybe if Jacob hadn't given up...

Just in case Jacob was nearby, Sam pleaded mentally, **'I know you won't believe me, Jacob.. But she's back.. And she's back for you. You have to come back. We're all worried about you.'**

And in the woods maybe 30 miles from town, from the reservation, Jacob's head snapped up and he listened, ears perked. He'd come close enough to hear the other members of his pack, just to see if she'd even called or attempted anything.

He phased back to his human form and sat there quietly, debating on possible other reasons she might have come back. Because he'd sworn to himself he was giving up. Even though he knew he couldn't. He had to at least try.

"It's probably just Bella's wedding.. But she actually came to the reservation.. So maybe.." he mumbled as he phased back into wolf form and tore through the woods towards home. He'd stay away let her come to him this time. He'd done all he could up to this point, it was her turn now.


	5. I Refuse To Let You Go, 2

_(Authors Note: In this chapter, we get a little sexy and dark !Dominant Jacob. It's meant to have a slightly gritty tone to it. If you don't like it, I'm sorry, really I am. Okay, so I'm not sorry, because when I read the series I was wondering why he and Embry or Paul didn't actually get many moments like this.)_

CHAPTER THREE:

_I refuse to let you go, 2  
_

She stood in the crowded reception, sipping from a bottle of champagne. She'd given up stealing the little flutes hours ago, really. Her eyes darted around the crowd, frantically searching for any sort of small sign Jacob was here. Biting her lower lip, she didn't see him. She saw the remainder of his pack members, just not him.

Her name being whispered again got her attention and her eyes scanned the crowd one more time, hopeful. But the whisperer wasn't the person she wanted to see, by any means. Just at the edge of the woods, she could see him sitting there, Sawyer that is, in a tree's cover, leaned against, playing with a lighter he held in his hands. She looked away, frantically trying to ignore the guy's presence, and when she looked back, he was gone.

She breathed much easier. Without Jacob here, she didn't feel safe. It was hitting her now, just how safe he'd made her feel, just how deeply her love for him ran. She'd been talking to an old friend of hers, Molly Porter, when she thought she spotted Jacob in the woods. "I'm gonna.. I'll be right back." Yvette muttered in a numb tone, taking off at a run, ignoring the fact that she was barefoot and the rocks and stones, the sticks and twigs, the occasional briar hurt as she trod over them carelessly.

When she stopped to catch her breath, sip from the bottle clutched in her fist, she was in a clearing and she was all alone, of course. Her mind had simply tricked her just now. She grumbled, punched at a tree's trunk, turned to stare at the party going on that she'd left the safety of.

"This is what I deserve." she mused aloud as she reached down into the pocket of her leather jacket, pulled out a silver lighter, her pack of cigarettes before flopping down on the tree's roots, lighting up the cigarette. She exhaled slowly, her eyes and her ears adjusting to the quiet and the darkness of this clearing, her hand in her hair, trying to straighten the damn slipping crown of flowers that some of her younger cousins braided together for her, with her help, while the others were dancing, talking and generally being adults as expected.

The snapping of a distant twig had her looking up, her hands began to shake, the earlier scare in the week, finding out Sawyer was still hiding and lurking in the woods, waiting had her paranoid to no end really and she flicked the lighter on, held it out. "Who's f-fucking out t-there?" she asked, hiccuping accompanying her slurred speech.

She got no answer, and she called out again, " If.. I-if that's you, S-sawyer.. I'm n-not.. I'm not afraid.. I'll fucking s-set you on f-fire." bitterly.

The limb snapped again and she looked around, heart beginning to rise to her throat along with anything she might have eaten that day. Right now, she was far from capable of protecting herself, right now she was beyond a hot mess, actually.

She'd been trying to get herself used to the fact that this time, there just might not be any fixing her mistake, she might not get another chance to say and do what she wanted to where Jacob Black was concerned. He hadn't come to the wedding tonight, that was a pretty clear indicator..

Jacob stood a few feet away, in the shadows, just watching her. He didn't know what to say or do, because she'd sent back all the letters, she'd never bothered to write or even call, do anything, and before she'd ever left, she'd begged him to find someone that he fell in love with on his own, without the help of his genetic quirk.

Yet she was here and she looked like she was in pain. She looked like the past few months away had been almost as much hell for her as they'd been for him. It didn't stop him from feeling anger and frustration, but he also felt a wider variety of emotions ranging from the two previously mentioned, to love, concern.. Lust..

He didn't know what to do or say even, so he remained out of sight just looking at her. The daisy crown sat on her hair crookedly. Her hair was apparently in the stages of growing out and it was a little kinky. He'd always thought she had almost arrow straight hair when it wasn't messy, of course, or up. The large black glasses she had to have to see were still there, tape on the nose piece. She must have dropped them and broken them recently, she was always doing that or losing them..

His hand traveled over his hair slowly as he stood there for a few more moments. Then he started to walk towards her. He stopped movement when she called out, her voice shaky.

"Damn it, if.. i-if y-you're fuck-.. If you're screwin with me right now, Sawyer, I mean it. I'll set the whole damn forest on fire just to take you out." Yvette murmured in fear as she stood, slammed back more of the champagne bottle's disgustingly bitter contents. The forest went silent again, save for the occasional animal noise, and she said aloud, "Just gonna sit here and get completely lit."

Footsteps in the distance, getting closer had her looking up. Jacob stood in front of her now, looking at her. She said nothing. All of her grand speeches, all of her plans were gone out the window now, this was not how she'd planned their first run in to go.

She'd played the scene a million and one times in her head, and it'd never went like this, her ignorantly drunk, scared out of her mind, worried about him and where he'd been, hating herself because she hadn't just been able to accept what he said at face value when he told her that he loved her, she was his. She'd be his forever.

She hadn't seen any of it happening like this.

"You finally came back." Jacob said quietly as he held her gaze, moving closer, warily. Yvette nodded quietly, bit her lower lip as she held his gaze and remarked calmly, "It's a scientific fact, Jacob.. If you stare at someone for longer than 6 seconds, that expresses either a desire to kill them or have sex with them."

"It could go either way, Yvette." he quipped dryly as he quickly said "I'm sorry. I just.. You left. Yeah, I'm mad as hell right now. And I'm just not sure if I can trust you not to leave again. I don't even really know why I'm standing here right now, honestly. I promised myself I was done, I was giving up completely when you waited 6 fucking months almost with no word."

Yvette bit her lower lip, she was about to say something but his finger brushed her plump lips and he said calmly, "I'm going to talk this time. You're going to listen." while holding her gaze, his arm on the side of her head, creating a barrier so she couldn't just run like hell. Which he figured she'd do. She seemed to do that when feelings came up as a topic of conversation.

He knew now why, of course, her mother had been the main link he had to her these past few months, she'd helped him in any way she could, then there was Bella's attempting to help him, keep him from going insane without her.

Even standing there almost hip to hip like this, he got the overwhelming urge to kiss her. He just wanted to taste her lips, finally know what they tasted like. But he wasn't going to let her back in that easily. Not with her history of running when spooked.

And apparently, the whole imprint bond spooked her, he'd almost lost her once. He wasn't sure he could do it a second time.

Yvette's tongue slid between her lips, over her lower lip. This calm and angry side of him, the way he took complete control, commanded her. For some reason, it had the opposite affect on her as the way he used to handle things had. "W-where the f-fucking hell did you go?"

" I figured you were gone for good, and that you returning every single letter I wrote, that guy answering when I called pretty much spelled out everything I needed to know. The imprint rejected, and even me loving you despite having imprinted on you in the first place meant nothing. Figured you were telling me you didn't feel the way I do without telling me. So I left." Jacob said calmly as he asked her, "Where's the guy?"

"What guy?"

"The one who answered the phone every single time I called, Yvette, damn it." Jacob said firmly, his eyes taking on a sort of angry amber glow as he looked at her.

"You mean my room mate, Trent? The guy I've spent the better part of 6 months trying to keep at bay, trying to convince the bastard I do not and I will not ever love him? He's gone, Jacob." Yvette said quietly, her eyes cowering downward.

"Were you with him?"

Yvette sighed and shaking her head said "He wanted to be with me. But I really couldn't even tell the guy I loved him. I couldn't because I..." she trailed off as she looked up at him, took a few ragged breaths. He looked down at her expectantly, biting his lower lip, his eyes still locked on hers. "Well?"

"Because, Jacob, I made a mistake." she said as she looked at him and then paused, took a sip of the bottle, added quietly, "I never should have left. I was afraid that if I let go and told you that I felt the same way, then everything would fall apart, okay?"

He studied her a moment, his other hand moved to rest on the trunk of the tree, brushing against her hip. She was pinned in now, exactly where he wanted her. When he'd figured out what her entire problem was, he'd realized that if he ever wanted to get over those walls she built, if he had a chance in hell of fighting the many defense mechanisms she had that she didn't even seem to actually realize she had, he'd basically have to let the shifter in himself take over when talking to her.

He couldn't be overdramatic like he tended to, he couldn't get emotional, he couldn't do anything he'd do as Jacob Black the human.

He had to be the wolf he turned into.

Calm even tone of voice, slightly commanding edge to it. Holding her gaze, pinning her into the nearest corner. All of these things had to happen if he wanted to get his point across, if he wanted to keep the situation calm, under his control, keep her from running like hell.

Yvette studied him intently, bit her lower lip. His hand was dangerously close to her hip, their hips actually were sort of brushing if she thought about it right now. She couldn't actually think. The words were out now, but she had a feeling Jacob wasn't going to make any of this easy on her. And she knew she deserved it. So she was sort of welcoming it in all honesty.

She'd put him and herself through hell these past few months.

"So you figured if you pushed me away before you even tried, things would work out so much better, huh?" Jacob asked, eyeing her, watching her reaction to the way he was handling their conversation.

She nodded and said quietly, " I didn't realize I was pushing you away then, okay? Look.. After what happened, that whole shit show with Satan's favorite mosquito, Jacob.. I needed to get my head on straight. I don't think you realize what it's like to find out that humans aren't the only things that walk this earth. That the man you've loved more than life itself at times, though you'd eat glass before admitting it, turns into a giant wolf. Or that your sister is fucking a vampire. That life is nothing like it appears. There are shades of gray you cannot just explain away or work around. I was in no shape to make the decision I had to make then."

Jacob studied her a moment. She'd come a long way in 6 months. More adult, not given to her stupid tantrums as she had been when he'd first started even hanging around Bella as an excuse to spend more time with her, a way around Sam's iron clad 'no contact with the imprint for an extended period of time' law.

They'd butted heads a lot then. For every time he tried to get closer, she worked twice as hard to push him away. The thought occured to him that he'd had her pinned in, back in a corner literally for nearly 10 minutes now, she hadn't bothered to move. Being this close to her was having it's own effects on Jacob, but he'd learned control dilligently in her absence.

He'd had to, or he might have taken out half of Washington in anger and pain.

The hand that rested next to her head moved over, slid the wilting daisy crown back up into her hair properly as he took a few deep breaths and then asked, "This decision.."

"I'm back, aren't I?" Yvette asked as she fidgeted and looked up at him, licked her lips, leaning in a little. He backed up, she sighed and nodded quietly then muttered, "I deserve every single bit of anger. Okay? Believe me, I know that better than anyone. But if you're curious, Jacob.. My decision is this.. I'll have to trust you when you say that it's not just you imprinting on me. Because when I left, I realized I was ripping my own heart out, okay? I had no idea just how much I really loved you until I left."

"Why not write me back? Why not come back? Why room with another fucking guy, Yvette?" Jacob asked firmly, his tone commanding an answer, his hand going back to where it'd been resting before, pinning her back in. He expected answers.

It was, after all, the least she could do, considering he'd just spent 6 months living in hell because she'd ran away basically.

" For me to write you back, Jacob, I'd have had to have gotten the letters in the first place. I didn't, because that fucking jackass of a roommate hid them. And lied to you whenever you called. We went out for a week, Jacob. And it was only because he told me that you called and said that you met someone. Wouldn't really call that a relationship. If I'd gotten the letters, I'd have come back. You might not believe that, but I mean it." Yvette said as she looked at him, her stomach twisting into nervous knots while her knees grew weaker and weaker.

His new attitude was having quite an effect on her. She realized that not once in their entire conversation, had either of them resorted to yelling or storming off, or names or anything they'd done before in an argument.

She wasn't quite sure how to handle him now. And she liked that. Voices calling her name had her grumbling, had him rolling his eyes as he set sights on Bella and Edward. Bella quickly made her way back to the reception with Edward when she spotted Jacob and Yvette in an intense conversation.

"Let's go back.. We'll tell Charlie, Renee and Natalya she's talking to someone, but she's still here." Bella said as Edward nodded.

Jacob looked at her, processing what she said, the anger surging. So the guy was to blame for their inability to at least have some form of communication. If he got his hands on this son of a bitch anytime soon, he'd rip the guy apart. This would make the second time someone interfered, he was getting sick of it. Granted, the first time had been partially his fault, he hadn't been able to tell her his secret until it was too late and he realized just how badly Sawyer had gotten in her head.

Rain started to fall around them and he said quietly, " Let's get somewhere dry. I should probably at least go attempt to see the bride." before bending slightly to pick her up, firm grip on her as he carried her back to the reception.

"I'm not saying we're going to sink into absolute bliss. I'm not saying I'm not still fucking furious about everything, Yvette.. But I am saying that I meant what I said, and I still mean it. I'm just not going to go through hell." Jacob said calmly as she nodded and said quietly, "All I want is a chance."

He found Bella and said his goodbyes, congratulated them, then said quietly, "I think things are going to be okay now." when Bella asked him. Bella hugged him and then said "I hope so."

From the darkness of the woods, Sawyer growled in fury, punching at a tree, swearing. So she comes back for the dog. She'll submit herself gladly to a dog. "We'll see about that, Yvette." he muttered angrily as he tore off through the woods, incensed by anger and fresh rage.

Everybody kept them apart the first time. This time, he was going to make sure nothing got in his way. She was meant to be his mate. Not some damn dog's mate. His.


	6. You Help Me Live And Learn

CHAPTER FOUR:

_You help me live and learn_

She'd fallen into a drunken sleep on the ride back from the reception after the wedding. Since Charlie and the others were still at the reception, Jacob found himself driving her back to Charlie's house, though he wasn't sure why he did this. He still had his reservations about letting her get to him again. What if she decided she couldn't handle this? What if she took off again?

Bella's words from the reception came back to him, she'd told him that from what Yvette said to her, Yvette left to get as much distance between herself and Sawyer, the violated feeling his head games left her with. Bella thought Yvette wasn't the same as she had been then, and given the new look, the new habits, Jacob had to agree.

Apparently,she'd also apparently checked herself into some psych ward, at a hospital in New Orleans under an assumed name or something, because of the things Sawyer did to her mind and the fear that he'd find her, do it all over, the degree in which he'd fucked with her mind for his own twisted agenda. According to Bella, she only stayed for the first month she'd been gone. Then she joined up with the volunteer group, started helping the rebuild efforts.

It still didn't explain why she'd went through it mostly by herself, telling neither him nor Bella, anyone who might be able to help her, until it was too late, but if he had to guess, she was probably more worried about Bella's situation, which left her open for Sawyer to make her believe things that weren't true while blinding her to the things that were.

Immature she may have been before 6 months ago, but she'd always been a caring person deep down. She never really stopped to worry about herself, that much he could say. She tended to be easily fooled too, any hard luck story would take her in before now, so that hadn't done anything but make her a bigger target.

In some ways, he blamed himself for the things that'd happened, her running away like she had. She honestly hadn't known what to believe, given they were at odds for a while there, and Sawyer was always around.

She tossed and turned a little in the passenger seat and he looked over at her, watching her sleep out of the corner of his eye. She hadn't meant to hurt him when she ran, he honestly believed that. The fact remained, she had. It'd take a while for him to get past it.

But she needed him, clearly, it didn't take an idiot to see that. Something told him that the scent they'd picked up earlier, before the wedding had been that son of a bitch Sawyer. Jacob felt the rage boiling to the surface as he mentally kicked himself for not finding and ending Sawyer when he had the chance. But with no scent to go on, no trail to follow at the time, he'd really had no choice.

The one stoplight in town went red as he passed under it, and he slid his hand over, tucked her hair behind her ear. He took a few deep breaths and looked at her. She'd come back, she said she wanted a chance. All she wanted was one chance. But the drive, and the silence in the car had him wondering if maybe he hadn't been as much to blame for her running as she had. If maybe he shouldn't be so hard on her.

She sat up stretching, winced at the beginnings of a slight dull headache. Looking over at the drivers seat revealed that Jacob had driven her home apparently. She sighed wistfully. She had not been planning to just get totally lit. She hadn't been intending on their first run in to go like this. There'd been so much she wanted to say to him, so much she wanted to explain, because she did owe him a detailed explanation of where she'd went, why she'd went there, and why she'd been afraid to just let her fear go and be willing to accept that he loved her, imprint or not. She could have learned to overlook the fact that a genetic quirk drove them together. Maybe if it hadn't happened, they would have still gotten together in another way. She'd learned a lot in the past 6 months, having to accept the existance of shifters and vampires, an entire world she'd never believed could possibly exist. One of those things was that if it was meant to be, it'd happen, one way or another. There was no stopping the inevitable.

And she'd learned the hard way that postponing it only caused herself and the people around her pain. Leaving had done her good, it had taught her things, but it'd almost cost her the one person she knew now she couldn't live without, even if she couldn't ever be entirely sure that he loved her on his own, or if he loved her just because his DNA told him he had to.

"What the hell is that thing in your nose?" Jacob asked quietly, the silence in the car crushing him almost. He'd had to say something. The air was heavy, there were things unsaid, actions untaken, she wasn't ever this quiet, really. That had him concerned also.

It was like she'd left for 6 months come back the complete opposite of the things he'd gotten used to.

"It's a piercing." Yvette said calmly as she looked at him, moved a little closer. He stiffened, she sighed and backed away, muttered quietly, "Sorry." as she shifted her eyes to the window for a moment, looking out. She diverted her attention to the radio, flipping through the satellite channels, finding a station that was playing a Flyleaf song.

When she started singing along, he shifted his gaze to her. Before, she'd been into the poppy and annoying music. Now the music she seemed to like, if the cds in the visor were anything to go by ranged from the slightly dark to the heavy dark stuff.

"Since when do you listen to anything but pop?" Jacob asked as she shrugged and toyed with her lighter, said quietly, "I'm not the same girl I was when I ran, okay?"

"That's what worries me." he muttered as she looked at him her hand in her hair. "What's w rong with me changing exactly? I mean it's the way I was that made me a magnet for Satan's favorite mosquito, Sawyer or assholes like that asshole Trent." she asked in curiousity as she tilted her head slightly, fixing her eyes on him.

He shrugged and then said quietly, "Good point I guess." as he looked at her a few more moments. "Are you hungry or anything?"

"I could eat. But if you'd rather drop me off and go, I'll make some ramen noodles or something, it's really not a big issue." Yvette said quietly. She didn't deserve to expect him to even want to stay around her, given the fact that she'd hurt him the way she had when she ran and stayed away so long.

But if she hadn't ran, she never would have gotten the violated feeling out of her head mentally. She never would have realized she had this whole lurking fear, she never would have made herself think about things and she wouldn't be here now, wiser, ready to deal with it.

She'd still be the same immature little princess she'd been before she ran away. She'd still have the issues that she had then, and she wouldn't be aware of them, she wouldn't want to change them for him. In a sense, everything she'd turned into, was trying to make herself a better person really, trying to grow up so that maybe she'd be good enough for him in her own mind, and maybe then she could let her guard down and let herself just fall for once.

"McDonald's is okay?" he asked as they turned onto the interstate. She looked at him and nodded, managed a smile. "Yeah." she said quietly as she bit her lower lip, studied him a few moments. As much as she'd changed, he had too.

But she had to admit, she liked it in all honesty.

Jacob thought about her changes. Things were starting to fall into place, he got the feeling she'd done the majority of them for him or something. Which bugged him, because he wondered why she felt like she hadn't been good enough before.

He couldn't say he didn't like her being a more mature and stronger person, he just wasn't sure if the sort of somberness that resonated from her was a good thing or not. She almost seemed like she honestly thought that she deserved everything he might dish out.

"So.. I heard you had a run in with the leech today." Jacob said calmly, looking at her. She nodded and said "And if you think that's going to make me change my mind, go back to the way I was before, or worse, let him in my head, Jacob, trust me. I'm not. As soon as I figure out a good way to rid myself of him forever, I'm doing it. Just have to figure out how." Yvette said as he looked at her and said quietly, "You're not doing anything, Yvette. I'm going to do it."

She looked at him, brow raised. He was doing it again, that calm demanding tone. This time, however, she hated to say, it wasn't going to work. No, Sawyer owed her his life, she intended to collect. The damage he'd done to her mentally still angered her. What angered her more was that she'd been stupid enough to let him.

"I mean it." Jacob added as he pulled into the McDonald's parking lot, stopped the car and got out, going around to her side of the car. He picked her up, was carrying her inside when she pointed out, "I can walk, Jacob, I tend to sober up fairly quickly. You really don't have to carry me."

"I wanted to, so I am. Besides, you drank half a bottle at least, Yvette." Jacob insisted as she nodded, her head resting warily on his shoulder, her warm soft lips brushing his neck. He decided that maybe he shouldn't spend so much energy harboring a grudge for her leaving. After all, she had been through a lot, and the whole imprint bond, on top of everything else had been a lot to process.

And she was back now. She'd come back on her own. And if Sawyer were really back like Sam said, Jacob was definitely not going to leave her alone.

He scanned the menu, Yvette pointed to the number on the menu she wanted and tried again to get him to put her down. "Can't, Yvette. I don't want to." he muttered as she sighed a little and then said quietly, "I meant what I said at the reception Jacob. All I want is another chance."

He nodded and said quietly, "You have to promise me you will not bail like that again. I'm here, all you have to do is actually let me in."

She nodded and said quietly, "I know that now, Jacob." as she got down, letting him grab his food, she grabbed her own food. They found a booth in the back of the place, she slid in beside him, munching quietly on her french fries as she asked, "Is it true?"

"What?"

"The Volturi are still lurking around? There are still newborns lurking around?" she asked as Jacob nodded and said quietly, "But nothing will happen to you. I mean that. Not as long as I'm breathing."

"And nothing's going to happen to you either, right? I mean it, Jacob.. I know this is your duty or something.. But if things get risky, get the fuck out of the way. I don't think.. If something happened to you.." she said as her voice trailed off, she went silent, eating her burger.

She'd hurt him, now she intended to take her time, make things right slowly. She didn't want to dive right in, rush him. Like he had for her, she'd wait as long as she had to. She had nobody but herself to blame for his baing wary of her. At least she thought this anyway.


	7. You Help Me Live And Learn,2

CHAPTER FOUR:

_You help me live and learn_

Her head was pounding when she sat up in bed the next morning, stretched. The dim grayness outside had her scowling a little, and she groaned when she thought over the night before. Not knowing whether things were okay between herself and Jacob was really bugging her. She sat there a few moments trying to figure out where to go next, what to do next where they were concerned.

The door opened and her mother peered in. "Tylenols?" she asked, a slight teasing smile on her face as she held out the tylenols. She was concerned about her daughter, of course, but she understood to some degree what'd happened when Yvette left town. "This was your free pass. Next time, we're having a serious discussion about alcohol and why drinking is not a good thing." Natalya said as she looked at her daughter, then added, "You had a phone call."

Yvette raised a brow then her mother explained, "Trent." She grumbled and said "I'm not in the mood to talk to that jackass, personally." as her mother asked, "Did you at least explain anything to Jacob last night? That poor guy has been calling and trying to write for the whole time you've been gone. The only reason he didn't show up there, I think, is because I told him what the problem might be, and that you needed to get your head on straight."

Yvette nodded, chased the tylenols with a sprite and then said quietly, "Did he bring me up here last night?"

Her mother nodded and said "He stayed and talked to your father and I for a little while. He seems concerned about you. I am too, actually." as she looked over her daughter in concern. Yvette sighed quietly and said "I'm fine, Mom. I just did a little growing up, is all. I needed to grow up."

"I realize this yes, but smoking, drinking, you come back with tattoos and a nose piercing? Why on Earth would you do all that?" Natalya asked her daughter as she stepped into the room, grabbing a few dirty clothes. Yvette shrugged and said with a grin, "I went skydiving too. And drove really fast."

Her mother studied her a moment and then asked, "Any reason why you decided to take unnecessary risks?"

"To get them out of my system." Yvette explained quietly as she flopped back onto the bed, scowling at her cell phone. Now she'd done everything she might possibly want to do. She felt like she could be settled, she'd never have any regrets, anything she'd left undone in life. "Hey mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Does Forks General have an intern program?" Yvette asked as her mother nodded and then said "I thought you were going to go back to New Orleans, intern there?"

Yvette shook her head and said with a smile, "I'm not cut out for that place, honestly. I missed you guys too much."

"And Jacob, maybe?" her mom laughed as Yvette shrugged and said "To a degree, yes. But I think I'm gonna stick around here." slipping on some leggings, an oversized long sleeve shirt, those engineer boots. Her mother looked at the boots, shaking her head as she asked, "No makeup?"

Yvette shrugged and said "No time." as she grabbed the keys to her rental car, hugging her mother, then Charlie when she passed him in the hallway. "Where are you going?" Charlie called out only to have her answer, "Not sure. I do know I'm gonna go check out the junior college, register for classes. Beyond that, sir, I have no freaking clue."

"At least she's honest." Charlie laughed to himself as he called back, "Be careful. There's supposed to be a huge storm blowing in around noon. And take an actual jacket."

She mock saluted him, grabbing one of his old jackets from the hallway closet, sliding it on. None of her stuff made it to her parents house yet other than the few things she'd been able to fit into her bag for the trip home. Everything else was supposed to be sent in around Tuesday. She wasn't worried about it, really.

Once she was in the car, she mulled over just what she was intending on doing, because she had no real clue at the moment. All she did know, was that she had to see him. She had to prove to him that she wasn't going anywhere, that she really meant it when she said she wanted a chance to fix things. There was this sense of desperation for some reason when she thought about it, a sense of urgency almost.

Then again, she'd never really been known for being a patient girl. And with everything she'd put him through, she knew she'd have to work her ass off and wear him down to get close to him again. She sighed as she thumped a pack of cigarettes against the steering wheel before tearing the cellophane wrapping around them with her teeth. Lighting up, instead of going to Port Angeles, which she'd been meaning to do first, she decided that she had to see him. She had to talk to him now that she was sober, now that everything she wanted to say would come out on it's own and not sound nonsensical or stupid.

La Push lie ahead and she drove quietly, mostly in thought, mostly worried about what he'd say, was it too late..He hadn't acted like it the night before, but then again, he hadn't acted particularly thrilled with himself either for being unable to stay away. Before she knew it, his driveway lie in front of her. The storm really started to pick up in intensity, and she sat there for a minute trying to figure out what to say, what to do, what not to say or do. She had to respect his boundaries, after all, she had hurt him.. But she was dying to get things right.

Billy peered through the window in the living room before rolling away from it, brow raised. "She's an early riser." he murmured as Jacob asked through a mouth full, "Who?", brow raised. The hard rock music from the car idling outside answered his question. Jacob smiled to himself. So she was here at 8 am.. Maybe she was really serious, maybe she did want a chance to fix things, maybe she was accepting that he loved her, imprint or not. That he'd fallen for her before he imprinted her, the imprinting thing was really just a side note in his case.

"She's sitting in the driveway.. Are you going out there, or?" Billy asked as Jacob shrugged, stepped away from the window, shoveling cereal into his mouth noisily. "Yeah." he finally said as he grabbed a t shirt, slid his feet into the boots standing by the door, walked out.

Yvette's breath caught in her throat as he walked out, leaned on a rail on the porch watching her. She steeled her nerves and called out, "I had to see you. I was gonna go to Port Angeles first, but I wanted to come over. It's okay, right? If it's not I can go.." shuffling her own heavy soled boots against the rocks in the driveway, crossing and then uncrossing her arms as she looked at him, waiting on him to say something, anything really. The rain was pretty much soaking her right now, making the remainder of her makeup from the night before run, making her look like shit, but she didn't care.

She had absolutely no game plan for once and it was glorious.

"It's pouring rain out there. I don't bite." Jacob called out finally as she mulled it over before walking up onto the porch. He looked at her and then said with a smirk, "8 am, huh? Since when do you even roll over before lunch?" eyeing her. Parts of him were beyond ready to just let her back in, let things be happier. But he got this feeling that she wanted to earn the happiness or something, that she'd feel cheated if she didn't have to work to make him accept that she was back, and she really wanted another chance.

And then there was his own curiousity, wondering just what she'd do to prove she meant what she said, though he felt like the worst kind of bastard ever for even admitting this to himself, let alone anyone else. Maybe a little while longer of keeping her at arms length.. Somehow he knew he'd never be able to do it.

She paced a few moments after walking up on the porch, her hands shoved deep down in the pockets of what was apparently one of Charlie's warmer and older jackets, staying quiet. He watched her, wondering what she was so nervous for, then she muttered quietly, "Fuck it." as she looked up at him and said quietly, "So, I'm going to stay around here.. And I'm really, really shitty with directions.. And my GPS is broken.."

"Huh?" he asked, looking at her, trying to hide the laugh he felt coming right now. Before, she wasn't the kind of girl who got nervous easily when she wanted something, unless of course, it had to do with emotions, obviously. He stopped her pacing and said "You're gonna walk a hole through the porch, Yvette."

"Damn it, Jacob, this isn't funny." she said as she lightly shoved at him then took a few deep breaths and said "Let me try that again so that maybe it at least partially makes sense. I had to see you. So here I am." as she looked up at him, carefully hugged herself against him. He tried to stay stiff against the affectionate gesture, but he couldn't. His arms went around her warily and she shivered because she was soaked to the bone, then there was the pleasant but unexpected radiant heat he put off as usual. She took a deep breath and sighed a little admitted quietly "I missed that.. How warm you always are." looking up at him, taking a step back, carefully reminding herself that she'd done a lot of damage that had to be fixed properly before she went doing and saying things like she just had.

Jacob studied her a moment then said quietly, "So, you're here just because you had to see me? Or did you maybe want to see me?" looking at her expectantly, waiting on her to answer. She bit her lower lip, looked up at him, fidgeting as she said quietly, calmly, "Both, actually." as her cell phone began to ring. The ring tone had him raising a brow, looking at her as he asked, "Are you gonna answer that?"

She shrugged, looked at it in disdain. "Nah." she said as she shoved the phone in her pocket. Jacob eyed her, then asked, "Who was it?"

"An asshole I don't wanna talk to." Yvette explained as she popped a piece of gum in her mouth and then said "It was Trent. And I'm not dealing with him right now. I'm exactly where I want to be. I know you don't believe me, Jacob, but I'm going to prove that to you. I meant what I said." still fidgeting, looking up at him through a curtain of soaked hair.

He nodded and tilted her chin up, making her eyes meet his eyes as he said quietly, "I never said I didn't believe you. It's just six fucking months, Yvette. You could have said something.. You made me wonder if you were okay, if you were dead.. I mean I know Trent didn't give you the letters. But you had a phone. You could have called. Instead, I had to find out everything concerning you, from your mom and Charlie. And then there's the whole not telling me or any of us for that matter what Sawyer was even doing."

"It wouldn't have mattered. Bella's problems were a lot worse. I was in mine because I was an idiot, I was stubborn and I bought them on myself."

"She did too, actually. And if I'd known what he was doing, what you thought, Yvette." Jacob trailed off, calming himself down, remembering that if he got upset, she'd get upset, they'd wind up fighting. If he wanted to keep control of this situation, with her, he had to channel the wolf he turned into, he reminded himself. Getting emotional and dramatic were not options. They freaked her out, she hated confrontations.

The calm thing worked last night. So for now, he'd just react that way.

Yvette sighed and said "I'm sorry. I know it doesn't change anything, Jacob, but I am. I'm really, really sorry." biting her lower lip as she raked her hand through her hair, studying him intently. The nervous tension was growing, she was afraid more than anything he'd decide she couldn't be trusted, that she'd lost him due to her own stupidity.

"You can relax, Yvette." Jacob said quietly as he placed his thumb on her lower lip looked at her for a moment then asked, "What'd you mean before.. all that about your gps was broken and you were going to Port Angeles?" chuckling a little as he looked at her. She'd always been a bit of a rambler in the rare event that she was nervous.

"I was going to go to the campus and enroll. Since I'm staying." Yvette pointed out and then added, "What I was trying to do, was ask you if you wanted to go with me?" looking up at him. He shrugged and then said quietly, "Got nothing better to do." as he looked at her. She nodded and then his eyes caught on her wrist. He shook his head, raising her arm as he asked, "A tattoo?"

She shrugged and said "It has meaning. It's not finished yet anyway. And I have one on my foot also." looking at him. He almost asked what she meant by it not being finished, it was a set of lips, the print looked vaguely similar to the shape of her own lips. That had him curious.

"My dad's not thrilled either. Speaking of dads.. I'm gonna go in and say hi to yours really quick?" Yvette asked as he nodded his head to the door and called out jokingly, "Maybe he won't snatch that heart shaped stud out of your nostril."

"Funny, Jacob. Fucking hilarious." Yvette mused aloud as he snickered to himself. Yvette made her way inside and Jacob leaned in the doorway waiting. Paul walked out, closed the door firmly as he said in a quiet tone, "She's back, Jacob. That means that it didn't reject."

"I'm aware of this, yes. I'm also aware that she seems to think that she's got to prove something first. And I'm still trying to get over the anger and pain. Sometimes, Paul, it's not just simple, okay?" Jacob said calmly as he could, Paul nodding and pointing out, "She is trying. I mean I know I've said a lot of shit about her since she ran.. But she's back."

Jacob nodded. In his own way, Paul was admitting he'd been a jackass about the way Yvette handled the news when Jacob told her about his having imprinted on her. And basically everything else that'd been thrown at her before she left.

Billy hugged his son's imprint and then asked, "Why'd you get your nose pierced?" out of curiousity. She shrugged and sitting down said "It just seemed like a good idea at the time. Dad's already had it out with me over the thing. I mean I just.. I didn't wanna be the same girl I was when I left anymore. Just things that happened I guess..." biting her lower lip, staring at the tv, the game playing on it. Her yelling at a player had Billy chuckling and musing aloud, "I didn't know you liked sports."

"Actually, yeah. I got into watching more when I left. Nothing else to do for at least a month there but watch tv and think. Lots and lots of thinking. I didn't really like that part, actually, being alone with my own thoughts." Yvette mused as Jacob walked in and asked, "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah. I'll come back later, Billy." she said as she hugged him again, walked out the door behind Jacob. She slid the keys across the roof of the car and he looked at her, brow raised. "Look.. I don't know where the hell the campus is. Your sister went there. You had to pick her up a few times. Please drive?" Yvette asked, begging. He shrugged got into the drivers seat and the second he turned the car back on the scream like chorus of Undead by Hollywood Undead almost had his teeth on edge. He muttered quietly, "The whole music thing is going to take a lot of getting used to." as he looked at her. She leaned her seat back, scooted towards him as she fastened the safety belt and muttered something he couldn't make out.

"So, did you ask me to come with you because you were lost or..." Jacob asked finally, cutting down the radio for a moment as Yvette said quietly, "Confession? I actually just wanted you with me." as she boldly met his gaze, bit her lower lip while twisting a strand of hair around her fingertips. He nodded, smiled a little as he held her gaze and then stated, "Like I said last night.. I just have to get past the way you ran. But I meant what I said then. You were always supposed to be mine and I did love you before I imprinted you." as he picked up her hand, brushed his lips warily to the tattoo on her wrist.

She licked her lips as she said quietly, "I know that now, Jacob. And I really do believe you, I promise. I'm back to stay this time. You just have to give me a chance."

He nodded quietly, the remainder of the drive was silent, both of them thinking their own respective thoughts about their current situation. He was a lot closer to just caving in now.. But it'd still take some time for him to get around the fact that she'd ran like that. That had hurt him.

But taking a look at the situation, it was overwhelming, it was a lot for anyone to process, especially if they'd just been through what she had then, totally alone at that.


	8. The Only Thing I Still Believe In Is You

CHAPTER FIVE:

_The only thing I still believe in is you_

She felt it before it even started, the sensation that someone somewhere was in her head or something. This might sound strange to most, but she'd been through it. She distinctly remembered how it felt the first time around when Sawyer had done this to her, and he'd made her so damn afraid she didn't dare tell anyone, not her parents, not her sister, not Jacob, nobody could know.

Partially, she kept silent because she knew, or she thought she knew, rather, nobody would believe her. They'd laugh at her, continue focusing on her sister's problems, or her sister's grief, which at the time was probably a lot more important, or so they'd thought.

She didn't blame them of course, none of them. After all, she'd been the idiot who kept silent, made such a mess of her life. Staring out the window, she kept repeating over and over in her mind, _'You're not real. This isn't gonna happen again, Sawyer. You don't scare me anymore. And soon, I'll kill you.' _She heard the laughter echoing off of the walls of her brain and she gasped, sitting bolt upright in her spot in the passengers seat to find out she'd apparently been in a sleeplike blackout state the entire time this process was happening.

Sawyer, however, wasn't done with her.. She'd forgotten how very strong he could be when he wanted something badly enough, because she heard his laugh in her mind, crystal clear and ice cold and then she heard him point out, _'So you'd trade one monster for another? I LOVED YOU! I SAVED YOU! If I hadn't played with your head so much, Yvette, do you think you'd have ran when things reached their worst for your precious bitch of a sister? And believe me, Yvette.. You owe me.. Because the inner power Aro saw in you? He wanted to take it, twist it, turn it dark. He wanted to change you. And Jacob.. He'll never actually love you.. Not like I you'll get it soon. __Soon, I'll prove it to you.'_

_'Get the fuck out of my head, Sawyer. Now. You don't actually love me. You just see me as a pawn in your game. You want to take over Aro's spot, you want power__.__And you're powerful enough to do it. You don't need me. Just leave me the fuck alone.' __she thought to herself mostly, wondering for a moment if Sawyer could actually hear her or something, laughing it off. Because that'd be silly, her being able to communicate telepathically, right? Especially when all her sister had, according to Edward not being able to read her thoughts at least, was some kind of mental shield.._

_Jacob, for some reason or another,__ heard it almost as plain as day, as if she'd spoken it, right before she sat up gasping for breath like something was choking her. Everything that'd been said, it was weird really, like he was in her head or something.. But he couldn't stop anything that bastard Sawyer said to her. He couldn't try and fight back either, because it was almost like he wasn't supposed to be able to do this. And logically, if she weren't a pack member, he __**shouldn't**__ have been able to do it._

_He stopped the car and looked at her, brow raised as he asked, "What's wrong?"_

_"It's nothing, Jacob." Yvette lied, biting her lower lip. She wasn't sure whether to tell him or not, really, because towards the end of the whole bizarre thing, she could of sworn she heard his voice, muttering quietly over and over ____'Don't listen to him. He's lying, damn it. He's lying and I can prove it. Wake up, come on, Yvette, you have to wake up now.' _

_"That's bullshit, Yvette. You know it, and you know I know it." Jacob insisted as Yvette sighed and said "It was a dream, Jacob. And even if it weren't, this is my fight. I've put you through enough, damn it." calmly as she leaned her seat back, grabbed two tylenols chewing them, the taste bitter in her mouth. _

_She knew she'd been taking a risk when she came back, but she'd been more than willing to take the risk, she wanted to fix things with Jacob that badly, she needed him that much. It scared her, but with the 6 months away from him, she'd began to find herself accepting it, it was probably the one thing that bought her any sort of peace anymore._

_Jacob studied her intently and then said in his own firm and commanding tone, "Fine.. Since I know you won't back down, and you should know by now I'm not either.. The only way we do this, is together."_

_She looked at him and said quietly, "You trust me?" a questioning gaze in her eyes as she studied his face intently. Did he know she'd heard him just now and that might have been the one reason she'd woken up from the bizarre blackout state she'd just found herself in?_

_She bit her lip, trying to think of a way to ask, her curiousity on the whole thing.. __Before she could say anything, he admitted, "I heard everything just now.. Is that what he did to you before? And how does he know about Aro?"_

_"He knows, Jacob, because he was a member of the Volturi for a long time. And he went rogue. He went off on his own, and I believe his intentions were to make a bigger and more powerful family. Something, I don't know, okay? I don't even know how I know that to be honest, I can't remember." Yvette explained as Jacob studied her and then asked, "Does your sister know any of this?"_

_She shook her head and said "No, all that shit with Laurent and James, then the shit with Victoria building an army of newborns.. I sorta figured my problems were a lot smaller than my damn sister being alive." as he looked at her then said firmly, "Not to me, damn it." as he made her look at him._

_They continued driving towards Port Angeles, and finally, Yvette asked him, "Just now.. When that happened... Nevermind, it's highly illogical that could happen.. I mean yeah, you're a shifter and vampires are real, obviously, you're my soulmate.. But you really couldn't get in my mind.. Did you?"_

_He looked at her and said quietly, "I didn't try.. I'm not sure what the hell happened, or how it happened, but I could hear everything. I tried to stop him.. But I couldn't talk or move or anything..."_

_Yvette looked over at him and leaning over, kissed him on the cheek as she said quietly, "I woke up when you said wake up. If you're wondering. How the hell is any of this possible? I mean it makes absolutely no sense. I'm not a member of your pack, nor am I one of those bloodsucking assholes."_

_"But your mother is Quileute."_

_"Not enough to matter, Jacob. She's like barely 8 percent and the family tree was so diluted by the time it got to her.." Yvette said quietly as she bit her lower lip, lost in thought. The last full blooded Quileute in her mother's family was her great grandmother, if she remembered correctly, and she wasn't even really sure if she'd been full blooded Quileute. She found herself wondering, how would that make a difference or explain the bizarre thing that'd just happened?_

_"__I don't know... For now, we'll just say it was a freak accident.. If it happens again, we'll talk to Sam or something, maybe he'll know." Jacob said calmly as he looked at her and then asked, "Did you really hear me? Because from where I stood, it seemed like nothing I was saying helped. Nothing I was saying was getting through."_

_"I swear Jacob, I heard you. Like you were sitting here right now, talking to me. Only maybe a little more commanding or something." Yvette said as they pulled into the parking lot of the university's campus. She looked at the large buildings, bit her lower lip._

_"So, you're ready to do this?" he asked, half afraid that given the really, really weird thing that'd just happened, and how afraid she was, she'd run again and he'd never see her again. She shifted her eyes to him and said quietly, "I'm not going to run again, Jacob."_

_He nodded, the nervous churning of his stomach stopped momentarily and he looked at her. "I didn't say you were.."_

_"I could tell you were thinking it.. Your eyes give away what you're thinking.. How do you think I used to kick your ass when we all played poker?" Yvette admitted with a slight smirk as they walked towards the large group of buildings. She stopped him and said quietly, "I want to go by the library before we leave town.. There's just something I wanna look up."_

_He nodded and she held onto the front of his t shirt a few moments, took a deep breath. He asked casually, "What are you gonna major in?"_

_"Nursing. I wanna be a registered nurse like my mom. Maybe work in the emergency room though." Yvette said as Jacob nodded, smiled. Somehow the choice in majors didn't surprise him. One of her biggest strengths and weaknesses, oddly enough, was that she helped people. Sometimes people that didn't need or deserve it, in his opinion._

_She'd only been trying to help Sawyer, the bastard, when she got herself involved with him back then. Jacob found himself blaming his not paying the attention he should have, to her, always losing his shit with her when she kept trying to help Sawyer, even after __ he tried to show her what kind of a guy Sawyer was, for pushing her into running._

_He was really starting to rethink keeping his guard up. Especially given the odd thing that'd just happened in the car that neither of them apparently had any control over when it'd happened. They'd have to talk to Sam or maybe an elder of the tribe about the whole thing later. It was odd, but not necessarily out of the question, what'd just happened._

_He stood in the hallway outside the admissions office waiting, __leaned against a wall. About 15 minute later, she walked out, thick stack of papers in hand, slight scowl at the papers. He laughed a little and then said "How'd it go?"_

_"Well, I essentially had to give my life history. And they're gonna request my transcripts on Monday or something. Wanna go to the bookstore instead? I know what I'm looking for, I'd really rather buy the books instead of checking them out or making copies." Yvette explained as Jacob asked, "What are you looking for?"_

_"Books on telepathy, a book of legends from the tribe, some other books. I'm gonna figure out how the hell we were able to do what we just did.. I just have the feeling, Jacob, that the less amount of people who knew we could even do that one time, just in case that was a one time thing, the better off we are."_

_"But if that wasn't some kind of mind thing with Sawyer, there's a problem already, Yvette. He knows." Jacob explained as she thought it over and said "But he's dumb enough to write it off. He'll think it was a fluke.. And who knows, he might be right.. But still.. I just have a feeling, okay? I just wanna keep this between us for now."_

_He nodded, he could understand that, it made sense. After all, it was right. It might have been a one time thing. And though she tried to hide it, he could sort of tell this also freaked her out to some degree. He slid his arm around her warily, leaned down to whisper, "It was probably a fluke, okay? Maybe for whatever reason, I sensed something was wrong and that sort of just happened."_

_She nodded and said quietly, "Yeah, that's probably it." as she let herself move into him a little closer. Was he letting his guard down, starting to trust her? She could only hope._

_They stopped at the book store and she grabbed an arm full of books, paid for them and then they jogged out to the car. They'd just gotten into the car when her cell phone rang and she picked it up, growling when she heard the word Soon whispered, then a dialtone._

_Biting her lower lip she muttered dryly, "Soon I'm going to roast him on a spit."_

_"You're not doing anything to get hurt. I'll rip him apart and then burn him. You're going to stay the hell out of the way." Jacob commanded firmly, making her look at him. She gave him a dirty look and then said "Fine, damn it. But I'm not some helpless little girl, okay? I got myself into this, somehow, I will help you get me out of it once and for all. Whatever it takes to keep you from getting hurt or something." biting her lower lip._

_He leaned in and __despite his initial resolve not to let her get too close just yet, he __pulled her into a slightly rough yet passionate kiss as he said quietly, "You don't worry about me getting hurt. I turn into a giant wolf, remember? You don't. It'll take a lot more to hurt me." __holding her gaze a commanding look in his eyes as he did so._

_"You're not invincible, Jacob. And I don't want something happening to you, not when it's a direct result of something I never should have gotten my ass involved in, in the first place. You might be my soulmate, but this.. I have a choice in nothing happening to you."_

_"Yeah? Well so do I and I'm not.." he said firmly as he sighed and added, "We'll do this together. Remember?"_

_She nodded and settled into the passenger seat, opening the books in her lap, starting to read. So he was going to start his mind games again, apparently. This time she was ready for him. This time, she wasn't going to lose or walk away from everyone and everything she loved to get away. This time she wasn't a scared little girl anymore._

_She just had to figure out what the hell was going on, how that thing from earlier happened, and if it was a random one time occurrence. She found herself curious and concerned about it. But she shoved the thoughts out of her mind, watching the scenery as it passed by on the interstate instead. Jacob watched her from the corner of his eye and smiled to himself a little. Maybe things would be okay eventually. Maybe letting his guard down a little couldn't hurt. He was still having a hard time with it, but he was trying a lot harder now, seeing how much she'd changed her opinion and herself in general over the past 6 months she'd been gone._

_And everyone was right. Accepting what he'd told her, on top of everything else she'd been going through silently then, with nobody's help might have been a lot for her at the time. But he'd had to tell her, he'd had to at least try, right?_

* * *

_**(A/N: Sawyer is an added part to the Volturi/Nessie thing in Breaking Dawn. It's an idea I've been debating on for a while now, just to sort of make things interesting. So there will be a few changes to that whole plot, but not too much. I'm going to try and keep this as close to the way the movies and books went as best as I can, so no, this is not going to be a really integral part of the overall plot (honestly, it's mostly to give a glimpse as to what Sawyer did to her before she ran), what this chapter is about. I just thought it'd be awesome to have it happen this way. It'll most likely be a one or two time occurrence so my oc doesn't overpower any of the canon charaters. I don't want to have her become too annoying or something, lol.. Obviously, Jacob's not going to wind up with Renesmee. Sorry but I wanted it to go this way. And no, Yvette is not a shifter or a vampire. The thing that happened in this chapter is for another reason entirely, and as I stated before, it might be an occasional occurrence at , thanks to everyone who's added and favorited, and my reviewer Lee1280, you're all amazing and you rock.)**_


	9. The Only Thing I Still Believe In Is Yu2

CHAPTER SIX:

_The only thing I still believe in is you_

Avenged Sevenfold playing next to her ear had her sitting up in bed and she looked at the phone, stretched, yawning. The number was an unidentified one, and for a second, she almost didn't answer it, but she laughed at her being paranoid and eventually picked it up. All she could hear was static that sounded like white noise, and then she heard Sawyer muttering something she couldn't make out. She threw down the phone as if she'd been holding thousands of tiny baby snakes or something and backed against her bed completely, looking at it in slight fear and agitation before biting her full lower lip and muttering, "I'm not afraid of him. I'm not. He's not getting to me this time, damn it."

A knock on her bedroom door had her raising a brow, but it cracked and her mom poked her head in and asked, "Are you awake yet?"

"Yeah, I am now, why?" Yvette asked as her mom said "Because Jacob's downstairs." slightly grinning at her. Yvette raised a brow but quickly got up and shoved on some sweats, threw her hair into a messy ponytail. Knowing what she knew in some ways was a relief.. She didn't have to feel this overwhelming pressure to impress him like she had before he told her she was his imprint back then.

It was a freeing thing in some ways, actually. She could be her actual self, not the self she sort of invented back then because she thought that's what everyone wanted or expected from her, and what he wanted in a girl. Maybe if she hadn't ran, life would be a lot different right now. She dragged herself from her thoughts and jogged down the stairs, hopping over the back of the living room couch.

Jacob raised a brow at her and asked, "Pajamas?" in curiousity. Before she left, she'd never have dared stepping foot out of her room without a face full of makeup and fully clothed, not just in some sweats and a t shirt. Not that he minded, honestly, she was much sexier like this and she seemed happier like she was being herself or something..

"Umm, yeah." Yvette said as she looked at him and grabbed the remote to the television, finding cartoons, laughing aloud. Jacob couldn't actually stop watching her at the moment, it honestly felt like he was re learning her, and falling even harder than he had when she'd ran away after he told her about imprinting, about her being his soulmate and that he'd imprinted on her.

She looked up and held his gaze for a few moments then asked, "You're up early.." as she waited on him to explain why. Given the wary way he'd acted since she'd come back, she'd figured that she'd have to make all the moves this time around, which was fine with her. He shrugged and then said "Just felt like coming over." as he smiled at her. She nodded and then shrugging said "Okay.." because she got the feeling that he had an actual reason, but for some reason, he wasn't going to tell her yet.

"You can come up to my room if you wanna talk." she pointed out as he nodded and stood, following her up the stairs. Looking around the room, seeing her things back in it, seeing the different things she'd obviously done while she'd been gone raised a lot of new feelings and a lot of new concerns. He picked up a picture of her in what looked like a gym, apparently doing MMA and held it up, asked, "You took MMA for a little while?"

"Actually, yeah. You try being a chick and being alone in Louisiana at a bar after dark. Trust me." Yvette said as she watched him looking at her stuff, smirking a little in amusement. She'd had to get away, change, grow up. Being told you're in a world that you didn't think existed before, then finding out that some guy, due to a genetic quirk will only ever love you while also having your mind fucked over by a power hungry vampire will do that to a girl.

Jacob chuckled a little and then looked at her and said, "Last night.. It happened again. I think you were asleep this time.. Dreaming or something.. And I could hear you, it was like you were sitting next to me, talking to me." barely hiding the smug smirk on his face as he moved closer to her. She bit her lower lip and nodded as she said "It did." looking at him. If he were expecting her to blush over the dream she'd been having, or what'd been happening, she wasn't that girl anymore either.

And it had been a good dream, so why bother hiding it as if it were something to be ashamed of. He stood there a few moments, his hand in his dark hair, biting his lip. He hadn't expected her to own up to it, or even act like it'd been satisfying for her or something, which apparently it had, because she was.

"That means it was more than a one time thing, Yvette.. And if we know.. Then the chances are Sawyer might have a heads up too. Maybe we should tell Sam and the pack and at least see if anyone has any sort of clue what might be happening that'd make us link up telepathically like this. Because we both know that logically, you shouldn't be able to do this, and neither should I.. Not with you at least." Jacob said firmly as they found themselves once again backed into a corner. This time, however, she surprised him when instead of fidgeting or getting nervous, she leaned forward then said quietly, "Got more than you bargained for, huh? Being in my mind I mean. Hearing what I think.."

"Glad you find this amusing." Jacob smirked as he leaned in a little. Two could play this game. Or at least he thought they could. "Never said I found it amusing. Just think it's cute how you're nervous now. Just like you used to make me. Just like how you made me feel made me nervous." Yvette mused as he looked at her and then asked, "So I made you nervous?"

"Yeah."

He nodded and then said "And for the record, Yvette.. I'm not nervous right now.. Just a little distracted." his eyes leaving hers to trail over her slowly. She seemed to be in a bit of a mood, and this concerned him so he asked, "Rough night?"

"Nah.. But I think Sawyer's onto it too. Because Satan's favorite mosquito actually tried calling me earlier. I couldn't tell what he was saying, but he wasn't happy. Which actually put me in a good mood." Yvette said as Jacob chuckled a little and then said "We do need to figure out how this has happened twice though.. Just in case.. Something's going on, I can feel it."

"Me too." Yvette said as she held his gaze and then sighing said "Lemme get dressed and we'll go see Uley. I'll bring my books. Maybe there will be something in them, if he doesn't have an answer as to why and how we're able to do this." grabbing a pair of jeans, walking into the closet to change quickly. Jacob called through the door, "Maybe it's still a fluke, but I mean that's two times in one day."

"Yeah. It's probably just a coincidence, but I'm curious as to why it'd happen to us myself." Yvette admitted as she stepped out, slid her feet into her boots and then said casually, "Ready?"

"Yeah, let's go." Jacob said as he tried to continue calming himself, the effect of their little exchange just now still had him reeling. He could sense though, that it'd done the same to her. They jogged down the stairs and Yvette peeked into the den and said casually, "Going to Jacob's for a little while. I'll be back later. If you guys need me, text or call or something, I'll come back." and hugging her parents.

Charlie eyed them and when they'd gotten outside the door he smiled and said "Maybe they patched things up." as Natalya said quietly, "God I hope so."

In the car, Jacob looked at her and then said " If this isn't a fluke.. It could be interesting." while smirking at her. Yvette laughed and then nodding said casually, "It could be very interesting." while looking at him for a few moments then adding, "And irritating."

"Oh really?"  
"Yeah, really.. Like if we get into a fight.. We'd constantly be finishing them in our minds. Not sure I like this weird thing that's happening.." Yvette admitted as she looked at him for a few more moments.

Jacob smirked and shrugging said "Actually, I kind of do. Except for the part that Sawyer might be onto it and he might try and use it to turn us against each other, get his hooks back into you again."

"So we learn how to control it, and we learn how to keep him out? I mean if we can.. If this isn't just some really, really weird thing that's just happening at random, of course." Yvette mused as they turned into the main road on the reservation, then a few minutes later into Sam Uley's driveway.

She followed Jacob up onto the porch and stopped about halfway, rubbing her neck. She got the distinct feeling she was being watched or something. She saw a pale flash dart through the trees and she nudged Jacob and said "Don't look now but we've got company." while nodding her head, just as the scent of leech hit his nostrils. He growled and said "Get inside."

"Jacob, no."

"Get inside now, Yvette." Jacob commanded her, pointing her to the door as he turned and lunged from the porch shifting into his wolf form. She grumbled and then ran to her car, grabbing a tire tool, heading for the woods. Paul grumbled and ran out, stopping Yvette, making her go back inside. "Are you just insane now or something?"

"No, I'm just not going to sit back and play damsel in distress."

"A tire tool's not going to do anything to him." Jared pointed out from behind them as Leah said "Go inside. We'll back him up." Yvette studied them a moment and then said " This started with me. As I've told Jacob, it's going to end with me. One way or another." as she scowled a moment and then walked inside, sitting down, biting her nails and waiting impatiently.

She'd almost given up while sitting in the den talking to Emily, when about 2 hours later, the pack burst in, Jacob swearing and growling, still extremely angry, limping, Paul and Embry helping him to the couch. Yvette swore and asked, "Damn it Jacob, what the fucking hell happened? I told you this was my fight. I told you I did not want you getting hurt."

"Calm down fireball.. He tripped on a tree trunk phasing back. We didn't see the little bastard, the scent trail ran cold deeper into the woods." Seth explained as Sam nodded and said "Jacob said you two had to talk to us?"

She looked at Jacob and then nodding said "Yeah, it's sorta weird, but.."

Jacob spoke up and explained "Apparently, we've been able to connect telepathically, twice in one night. The first time though, Sawyer was trying to get in her head.. So there's a chance he might know.." as Sam nodded and looked at them, brow raised.

How was she able to do this if she weren't a pack member or something? He'd heard of telepathy before, but he'd dismissed it, well the idea of it in the traditional sense. "Do you two think it's an accident?"

"We have no idea." they blurted simultaneously, Yvette speaking up as she said "Sawyer did say something though.. About Aro, that whole standoff that I had with the jerk last year before I left.. What he wanted to use me for or something.. Maybe he knew and I didn't? All I know is when it happens, I black out and I have no idea it's going to happen."

"Do you feel anything beforehand?" Sam asked as the others in the pack looked at them in curiousity. Yvette shrugged and said "My ears buzz a little? And I feel drained afterward. Oh.. And sometimes it's this sharp pain. Or it was when Jacob's thoughts were in my head.. It's kinda hard to explain. But I'm reading about telepathy to see what I can find out."

Sam nodded and said "I'll have to talk to the tribal council and see if anything like this has happened before. As far as I know, though, it hasn't. I mean nothing's been documented anywhere. But it doesn't mean that it can't have happened."

"So you two can hear each other's thoughts?" Quil asked, staring a moment before starting to laugh a little.

"Haha, you're not funny, Atera." Yvette said as she poked her tongue out and said "I can ask my mom, I mean she's got a little bit of Quileute in her blood.."

"Do that." Sam instructed as he looked at them a moment, wondering if it were a coincidence, or if something else were at work here. And wondering what Sawyer's connection might be to the escalation in recent newborns being made, attacking at will.

Something really really weird was going on.

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_**(A/N: thanks to everyone who's added and favorited, and my reviewers Lee1280, and DaGurl32 you're all amazing and you rock.)  
**_


	10. The Only Thing I Still Believe In Is Yu3

CHAPTER SIX:

_The only thing I still believe in is you_

She gave him a warning glare as soon as she was aware that he was again trying to get inside her mind. All he did in response to the look she gave was snicker at her and smirk, shrugging casually as if to say 'Can't help it.' before turning his attention back to the sudden appearance of Leah who scowled at Yvette angrily.

Yvette just got this feeling that Leah felt she was some sort of intruder or something, that she shouldn't have come back, which sort of perplexed her, as the two of them had been friends before she ran a few months ago. So, she sought out the taller female and asked calmly, "What's the problem with me?"

"Why do you think I have a problem with you?" Leah asked as she scowled a little, looked at the shorter brunette that stood in front of her. She saw Yvette's side, but then she also saw how badly Yvette's leaving actually did hurt Jacob, even though she knew the situation and she knew that honestly, that was the very last thing Yvette had been trying to do in leaving was to hurt him. So, she was a little apprehensive about Yvette's returning, claiming that she could accept this now, that she was ready to handle being someone's entire world and the amount of devotion that took.

"Because, Clearwater, you're treating me like you treat my mosquito loving half sister. And I know that you hate her. I'm not an idiot, so don't try pretending that you're not pissed at me or something for some reason. But I'm also not going to just keep dancing around all this, either. It puts Jacob through stress, I'm not doing that to him." Yvette said as she studied the other girl, hand on her hip, slightly jealous.

Had something happened between them while she'd been off 'finding' herself?

Leah grabbed her arm and dragged her out of hearing range as she said "Okay, fine.. You want to know my problem with all this? With you coming back? Because while you were off 'finding yourself' and trying to decide if you even wanted to be someone's soulmate, Yvette, Jacob went through hell on Earth. Jacob might trust you when you say you'll stay this time, that you can handle this, but frankly? I can't. I'm just not buying it." Leah admitted with a sigh as she added quietly, "Sorry, it's just.. You didn't see how badly he hurt. You don't understand what it does to someone, especially in this position."

"And naturally, you do.. With Sam and Emily.. Right?" Yvette asked, her hand in her hair as she studied her former friend who was apparently harboring some deep seated anger at her, and maybe some feelings for Jacob to boot. The last thing she wanted to actually do was hurt Leah, but she didn't and she wasn't willing to give up Jacob either.

Leah nodded, asked quietly, "Now you're mad."

"Not mad, Leah.. I don't blame you for what you've said.. But know this.. Jacob and I are imminent. We belong together.. And nothing will get in the way." Yvette said calmly as she bit her lower lip and added quietly, "I've always loved him, honestly. I know you don't understand that.. But then again, you didn't have your mind raped by Satan's favorite fucking mosquito either, did you?" casting a glance at Leah who studied her intently, slightly bitter.

"I didn't, but still. It doesn't make you special, Yvette. You left him. For six fucking months. With nothing to hope for. He almost gave up on you, ya know?" Leah fumed, barely holding in her anger. Yvette glared calmly and said "Not trying to make you hate me, or start a fight here, Leah, but are we gonna have problems? I really, really hope not." holding her gaze, back stiffened, not the slightest bit afraid, in fact, more angry than anything at the moment.

Of everyone who'd confronted her since she'd come back, she somehow did not see Leah as being the one who tried to tear her and Jacob apart again. Sure everything Leah said was in truth and she knew it, hell she'd admit to it, but she wasn't about to just let Leah start trying to destroy them either.

"Oh, I'm not. But I just wanted to say that some of us would kill to imprint on someone.. And nobody who's been imprinted on so far, other than you, Yvette, has had a problem with it. Think about that." Leah said as she stared down Yvette who stood clenching her fists, biting her lower lip, all but ready to punch her at a moments notice. But they always had arguments like this, that's why Leah actually liked Yvette more than Bella, Yvette said and did what she felt, what she thought was right and she honestly didn't give a fuck what anyone else might think or do, even say about it.

This time, however, it might just be putting the two friends on the outs with each other.

Jacob sensed the tension in the air and he put his hands on Yvette's shoulders gently, Yvette commanded him mentally, _'I mean this in the best of ways, lover.. This has to happen or Leah and I will never be on the same page again. If you respect me or even love me at all, you'll just let us have this argument.'_

He responded mentally, **_'There is no reason to fight, Vette. It's you and me. I love you and I loved you before I even imprinted on you.. Leah's just angry, she's still hurting over the Sam and Emily thing and she's butting in because she thinks this is her business. She could hurt you.'_**

_'And maybe I'll deserve it, Jake. But you cannot do this every single time I have a disagreement with someone. Just because you're my protector doesn't mean you have to step in and stop me from taking what I might just deserve in the long run. She's right Jake... I did leave. I did hurt you. And even if I am back now, that did things to us, to the bond we share.. And I don't want this becoming a problem. I'm gonna stop with the inner dialogue now, Jacob, because it's giving me a headache. Just let us have it out.. Please?'  
_

**_'Fine. But I'm in the next room if you need me.'_**

Once Jacob was out of the room, Yvette shut the door and turned to Leah as she said calmly, "It's just me and you now, Leah. We're going to get it all off our chests because I'm not going to have your whole problem with me causing problems between you guys. Not when these attacks are going and you have other shit to focus on than my stupidity 6 months ago. You do realize that's what those bloodsucking assholes want, right?"

Leah studied the grim faced brunette who stood against the door with her arms crossed and an unfamiliar cold gleam in her warm brown eyes for a second. Maybe leaving for 6 months had helped Yvette in a lot more ways than just accepting the imprint. Maybe she'd actually grown up while gone.

Leah nodded and said "Okay, fine. I hate that you're back now and Jacob seems to forget that I spent the better part of 6 months taking care of him, being there for him. I hate that once again, just because of an imprint, I'm cast to the side. I hate that you came back willing to accept this whole thing, and that you and Jacob have this telepathic connection now apparently. I hate that you're standing here, right now, and you know that he'll always choose you." in a rush as she studied her former friend.

Yvette nodded and said simply, "Fair enough. And I can't blame you for hating me for all those reasons. But you have no idea that for every single one of your reasons to hate me, I have at least ten other reasons to hate myself." as she looked at Leah and then added, "I get that you're gonna have a problem with me now and I'm fine with it, really. I just hope it doesn't completely fuck up our friendship." as she sighed and shuffled her feet while looking up at Leah for a moment, trying to ignore Jacob's trying to get into her head again. This was between them, she didn't want him knowing anything Leah might say, although she wasn't sure why.

Maybe on some level she was afraid that Jacob might decide to give Leah a chance and break imprint, and if he did, she wouldn't be able to blame him or be hurt by it. After all, she'd hurt him first. Or maybe she just didn't want Leah getting hurt any worse than she obviously already was by everything. Either way, Yvette found the conversation as a whole making her increasingly uneasy, so she said quietly, " Look.. I know you don't believe me, but I am sorry. Not everyone's going to just take to finding this stuff out like a duck to water. And I really didn't mean to hurt Jacob, not when I love him so much. And I'm sorry that you probably got hurt somehow in all this, also."

Leah nodded and Yvette walked out of the room, flopping onto the couch next to Jacob, leaning in to whisper, "You should have a talk with Leah. I think you two have some things that need to be said." as he looked at her, raised brow. He had an idea of what Yvette might mean by that, and sighing he stood, went to find Leah. Leah stood out on the porch staring off into the woods, angry.

"Look.. I loved her before the imprint happened, Leah. I know you got used to being there while I was hurt and she was gone.. But this cannot happen, not with us.. I just.. Even if it were normal circumstances, Leah.."

Leah's shoulders stiffened and she said quietly, "I know, Jacob. Just don't finish the sentence, okay? I just don't get why you're so ready to accept her being back. Not when she put you through so much."

"Because I understand why she left now. And I don't really blame her. None of us chose this, Leah. I hate that you feel hurt, I hate that us getting closer the past six months is going to hurt you now too. But I never lied to you and I never actually mislead you."

"But we talked all the time.. And now she's back and you'll just forget I'm still here, I'm still your friend." Leah argued bitterly as Jacob said quietly, "No, I won't. But that's it, Leah, you're just my friend. Nothing beyond that." looking out at the woods, careful not to upset her or hurt her. This was hard enough already. It was exactly why he'd tried like hell to avoid letting anyone offer to help him get through it. But Leah stubbornly refused to back down.

"So I'm just supposed to be okay with it.. Everyone imprinting and leaving me behind, moving on with their lives." Leah asked angrily as Jacob shook his head and said "You don't have to wait alone Leah.. Nobody ever said you couldn't date or anything. It might actually help."

She glared and stormed off, he groaned and raked his hand through his hair, punched a beam on the porch as Yvette said from behind him, "If you ask me, Jacob.. You have a choice now.. You can risk breaking imprint and try to give Leah a chance.. Or you can just keep trusting this whole imprint bond and me, neither of which are reliable.. Look, if you leave now and go after her, I won't stop you. If it's what you want to do for you then you should do it."

"I don't, actually. All I feel for Leah is friendship. I'm being totally honest when I say it, Yvette." Jacob explained as he looked at her, then muttered quietly, "I just hate that she winds up getting hurt all the time."

"Me too. I wish I'd never left. She was probably my best friend, now this will come between us. I hate it, but I love you and I came back for you and I'm not giving up on that. For once in my life I'm gonna trust something other than my brain." Yvette admitted quietly as she walked out into the yard and tapped Leah on the shoulder..

"Leah, I'm sorry."

"It's not.." Leah started as Yvette shook her head and said "It kinda is. If I hadn't been an immature little bitch and ran, you wouldn't have let yourself get close to him. And now you're hurt." while looking at Leah, biting her lower lip in thought. "I want you to promise me something though.. If something bad ever happens to me, Leah, I want you to make sure he's okay.. I mean it. Don't let him push you away."

"What the fuck makes you think something bad will happen?"

Yvette shrugged and said "Life's weird like that. And this thing with Sawyer, everything my stupid sister seems to get herself into, you never can actually tell.. Just do that, okay?"

Leah mulled it over and then said "It just hurts.. Every time I invest emotion in someone.."

"I know." Yvette nodded as she leaned against a tree's trunk and said "I'm not my sister. I'm not here to hurt Jacob. I actually left so maybe he'd have a choice."

"He just didn't want it.. Right?" Leah asked as Yvette nodded and said quietly, "And I'm glad he didn't. I took a huge risk leaving like that. I wouldn't blame him if he walked away from me either." as she looked at Leah who stared at her a moment and then said "You leave for 6 months and come back like a mini Yoda."

"I had to do it, Leah. I never would have been able to deal with everything on my own if I stayed.. I get the imprint thing.. But there are some things you guys should not be expected to do also." Yvette pointed out as she added, "If I had stayed, I'd never have had to actually deal with anything going on and I'm not that kind of person. I'd much rather deal with something than run from it."

"Like the thing with Sawyer.. You're not going to back down and let Jacob handle it on his own.. are you?" Leah asked as Yvette shook her head and said with a slight smile, "I told him that for me to accept this imprinting thing and get my head around it, he had to accept that I'm a bit weird about things, and I happen to think that if one of us is having a problem that affects both of us, then we both deal with it."

Leah nodded. She still felt bitter, angry, but knowing Yvette's actual reasons for leaving now helped ease it a little. She still wanted to be chosen, just once. She still hated how Jacob just accepted Yvette's coming back so easily. She still felt like she was being cheated out of a chance to love.

But all she could do was wait and hope that Yvette proved her right or wrong. Because she knew now that there were two sides to every coin.. On the one hand, if Yvette did leave, that didn't necessarily guarantee that Jacob would willingly let her close to him. And then there was the fact that she didn't want to see a good friend hurt again.

But she didn't want to hurt anymore either. So she had to decide whether to fight them being together, try and mess it up, or just let things go one more time. "I'm gonna go." she muttered calmly as she walked home, trying to think about what she wanted to do next, what outcome each course of action she might take would have on her life.

Jacob walked over to Yvette and said quietly, "I'm sorry."

"I'm not. And if she tries to mess up, I won't be sorry for giving as good as I get either. I just hope she won't throw our friendship down the drain because she's hurt. I'm afraid though.." Yvette said as Jacob nodded and then said "Even if you weren't my imprint, Yvette, I'd still only love you. When you were gone, she was there for me.. But I.."

"Don't explain yourself, Jacob. You don't have to. I totally get why you tried to go forward, okay? Let's just leave it alone for now." Yvette explained as they walked into Sam's house and sat down on the couch, trying to watch television, both lost in thought.

And in the woods, Sawyer watched the female shifter with vague disinterest. Maybe she could do something to help him get close to Yvette again. He didn't like this recent turn of events, his being blocked out of her mind while that damn dog could come and go in it as he pleased. She wasn't listening to him anymore.. And if he were going to end the Volturi when they finally came to Forks.. He had to have her on his side.

* * *

_**(A/N: thanks to everyone who's added and favorited, and my reviewers Lee1280, and DaGurl32 you're all amazing and you rock.**_

_**I used to be team blackwater, so this sort of alludes to that. But my oc and Jacob are still gonna wind up together and I might even be giving Leah an imprint. ;p)  
**_


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